Joshua 24.1-3a, 14-25; Psalm 78.1-7; 1 Thessalonians 4.9-18;
Matthew 25.1-13
This parable often leads us into a good/bad; wise/foolish, scenario where we ascribe one of those attributes to the varying groups in the gospel story, and by extension maybe even to ourselves. But when we do that, we may just miss the point behind the parable. After all, all 10 of them brought lamps, all 10 of them got tired and fell asleep, and when the shout went up for the groom’s arrival, all 10 of them woke, trimmed their lamps and got ready to greet him. The only difference is that 5 of them didn’t have extra oil.
Most of the time when I read this parable, I have to ask, why did the young girls not share their oil; when they realised there would be a delay, why did at least some of them not extinguish their lamps so as to conserve oil, especially those without extra oil; and how important was it for all of them to have lamps blazing, could those whose lamps were fading not have still accompanied those with well-lit lamps, after all, they could all still see, the groom had invited them all, so why risk missing out by going off – at midnight- to find oil. Would the story have been different if the bridesmaids had shared their resources.
I think the point of this parable appears to be, all 10 of the bridesmaids knew the groom, and he knew them, they all knew that they were to wait for and welcome the groom when he arrived. But 5 of them fail to adequately prepare. They had all the ‘right stuff’, but they did not plan for ‘what if’s’. what if the groom is delayed, what if I have to wait a long time, what if ….. And then at the crucial moment when the groom is arriving, they are distracted by unimportant details and ‘miss the boat’.
The early church to whom Matthew is speaking was expecting the return of the Messiah ‘soon’. It has now been more than two thousand years, and the Messiah has still not returned. Are we prepared; or are we so ‘used’ to the idea that it will be a long wait that we have forgotten to prepare; we have become so used to waiting that we no longer even expect the arrival in our lifetime. And maybe we have also forgotten that God has a call on our lives now, today, tomorrow. It is not just the arrival of the Messiah for which we should be prepared. We also should ready ourselves to respond to the small things God calls us to do, for the ‘insignificant’ daily call on our lives. The call to care for creation; the call to welcome the stranger; the call to fight injustice in the world around us; the call to offer ourselves in the ministry of God’s church; the call to read, welcome, pray, cook, clean, and the myriad of other ‘things’ that this church does weekly and monthly. We are invited to love God by loving God’s children, love God by loving God’s creation, we do not have to wait for a God-directed ‘end-times’ scenario to experience God’s presence, we are invited to find God with us every day.
And let’s not forget, despite all our questioning about the elements of this parable, it does end in a wedding; there is a celebration and it is a celebration we dare not dismiss or forget about. This is our end goal, to be with Jesus, with God, in the biggest and best wedding feast, the most outstanding celebration we could ever imagine. And in the meantime, we live into that feast, that celebration as if it was about to happen. The bridesmaids were not planning for the groom to arrive at midnight, but 5 of them were prepared for that eventuality. No matter when it occurs, we too need to be prepared, to have all our contingencies covered just in case there is a delay and the outcome isn’t what we thought it would be. We need to avoid trying to ‘predict’ when the celebration will occur and just remain ready. Yes, we might sleep, we might have to wait a while, but we need to be ready to respond when we are called into action.
The way this parable ends leaves me with an uncomfortable taste. The groom closes the door on the 5 who were off getting more oil. They did secure more oil, even if they were a bit late or delayed in doing it, they did all they had to. But the door is closed in their face. In our lives, doors close, chances are missed, time runs out. We experience this regularly, maybe too regularly. We miss the opportunity to forgive that silly mistake, we are too late to say sorry, we miss healing the wound in the life of another, confronting injustice, breaking the habit, paying what we owe. Opportunities end. And we tell ourselves, no matter, there is always tomorrow. But what if there is no tomorrow. The parable invites us to live as if, this day, each day, is all there is. There may well be a tomorrow, but it will take care of itself; today I need to live today, now, today.
It is easy for us to focus on the lack of oil of the five ‘unwise’ bridesmaids, but that was not their mistake. Their mistake is they left, they didn’t stick around, they thought that having oil was more important than meeting the groom. They missed the most important moment of their lives because their focus was distracted, and they deprived the groom of their presence because of that distracted focus.
Now I admit - it can be scary to feel like your light is fading, to feel like your energy is running out. I understand the feeling that before I show up, I need to make sure everything is perfect, that all my ducks are in a row. Because it is scary to stay in the dim light, with my light flickering inconsistently, my confidence fading, my previously strong faith fading, and all my flask can offer is smells and drips of doubt and pain and grief. Only a bridesmaid who trusts the groom’s unconditional compassion; only a bridesmaid who knows the groom has oil and light to spare; only a bridesmaid who understands that just being there is important to the groom, will find the courage and honesty to stay around even if I am messy and imperfect.
And we shouldn’t let the ‘wise’ bridesmaids off the hook either. They refused to share. They were so focused on their own preparedness and ‘wisdom’ they forgot about mercy, empathy, kinship and hospitality. They forgot that the point of the celebration is celebration. Gathering, coming together, sharing, joining. They did not stop to consider the consequences of their stinginess. They diminished the wedding, they deprived the bridal couple and their guests of five lively, caring companions.
So maybe the ‘take home’ moment in this story is: don’t let your fear or sense of inadequacy keep you from the party. Be prepared to just show up as you are – complicated, messy, half-baked and half-lit. The groom wants you there, not your lamp. Your light does not have to dazzle. Remember God created light. God is light. And Jesus is the light of the world. How much oil you have in your flask is not the point. You are. So stay.
So what am I afraid of. Am I living with a scarcity outlook or an abundance outlook. Can I trust the abundance of God. Am I pushing others into the darkness because I am too afraid there will not be ‘enough’. And what if Jesus isn’t the one slamming the door. What if it is me. Am I so afraid of the ‘other’ that I deny knowing them, am I keeping my ‘ducks in a row’ so well that I can’t see beyond them to notice there are others who are not ducks wanting to get in. Do I feel more secure behind closed doors rather than opening my arms with welcome.
Faithfulness to the wisdom of God is life-transforming. And our commitment should foster ‘world-loyalty’ attitudes not ‘in-group/out-group’ behaviours. When we follow the One God we can look beyond our own ego-interests, mean-spirited patriotisms and ideologies, and see the well-being of God’s creation and humankind in all times and places.